One Shot
by Atuliel
Summary: AH/AU. Sam shoots Jason and hilarity ensues.


**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. All belongs to _General Hospital_ creators and writers.

**A/N:** This is for _renmommy_.

* * *

"You shot me," Jason said, stunned.

He clutched his now-bleeding arm in surprise and ran his fingers over the hole in his leather jacket. His mind was telling him he was in pain, but he could feel nothing beyond the shock. Sam had _shot_ him. Jason looked at the con artist, who was flapping her jaw, unable to actually speak, it appeared. His brow quickly furrowed in anger.

"What the hell, Sam?" he barked, making her jump. "Look at this! I'm _bleeding_!"

"I-I-I—"

"Y-y-you _what_?" he mocked angrily, pulling off his jacket. "You meant to shoot _him_? Well, you should've done that when I told you to, but did you? No!"

"I-I'm sorry! A-are you okay?" Sam asked, hurrying forward.

Jason shot her an icy glare.

"_No_, I'm not okay! You _shot_ me!" he exclaimed, amazed at her level of stupidity.

He began wrapping his jacket around the wound to stop the bleeding; it was ruined anyway. He'd have to buy a new jacket. Which sucked, considering he was pretty sure Elizabeth had liked _this_ one and now it had a hole in it. _Damn Sam_.

"W-well, um, come on, we need to take you to the hospital," she stuttered, taking his arm and pulling him toward the door.

"_Ow_!" he yelled, more to alert her to the fact that she was yanking on his now bullet-filled arm than out of pain.

She winced and released his arm.

"Sorry," Sam muttered. "But still, you need to get to the emergency room."

"Uh, you _think_?" he shot back, cradling his wounded arm. Normally, he avoided hospitals when he got shot, usually preferring to avoid the inevitable questions that came with it. However, this time, _Sam_ would have to answer the questions, not him. _Not my problem_, he thought irritably.

Sam frowned and took his arm again—the uninjured one this time, thankfully—and started leading him toward the hospital.

* * *

Jason and Sam walked off the elevator and up to the nurse's desk. Thus far, Jason had made it without stumbling, but he was beginning to feel slightly faint. He just hoped they got him on a gurney or in a wheelchair soon, so he wouldn't have to lean on Sam. Nadine looked up as they approached and picked up a chart, smiling at them.

"Hi, I need a doctor," Jason said without preamble.

Nadine stifled a chuckle. "Okay, do you have an appointment?"

"No, but I have a bullet in my arm, because _someone_—" here he looked at Sam with a glower "—shot me. So I'd like to have that taken out, please."

"Oh, my God!"

Nadine ran off and returned shortly with a medical team, including Patrick Drake, and a gurney. Jason sighed with relief when they helped him onto it, leaning his head back. His head felt so much better now. They removed the leather jacket and Patrick looked over the injury.

"Well, well, well, Jason Morgan got shot," he said sarcastically. "Now _there's_ a shocker."

"It is when _Sam_ shoots me," Jason growled, glaring up at the woman, who was standing right next to the gurney as though it were her duty.

"What? Sam, why would you do that?" Patrick exclaimed, rounding on her. "What were you thinking? Or were you even thinking at all?"

"I-I-uh—"

"Yeah, jeez, Sam," one of the medics said, shaking her head.

"But I—"

The others all conceded in one way or another, dumbfounding the con until she was absolutely speechless.

"All right, let's take him in for the operation," Patrick finally said, shooting a disapproving glare at Sam.

Jason closed his eyes, working hard to hold back a mean grin at the flabbergasted Sam.

* * *

Later, as Jason was rolled out of the surgery room, Patrick briefed him on the success of the operation and Sam followed them, looking orange as usual. _She needs to spend less time in the tanning booth_, Jason found himself thinking, just as Patrick finished with his monologue.

"Now, we don't have any private rooms left," Patrick informed him sagely. "So you'll have to share it wi—"

"That's fine," Jason cut him off, sighing.

He was too tired to deal with another person, but he figured he could always close the screen if he needed to.

As soon as Patrick parted from them, Sam trotted up next to him and started up an unending string of apologies and excuses. Jason rolled his eyes, annoyed beyond the telling of it. He couldn't even tell whose room they were in when they rolled in because she kept jumping into his view and taking up all his attention.

_Well, at least I can't focus on the pain while she's yapping_, he thought, watching Nadine give him a pitying look and exit after taking his vitals.

With all the medics and nurses gone, he could finally look around without seeing Sam everywhere. While she was still talking, he rolled his head to one side and found the wall, then turned it the other way and found Elizabeth lying on a bed, staring at Sam with such annoyance that he almost laughed.

"I bet I stopped listening before you did," he called over to her.

Both Elizabeth and Sam looked at him sharply. Elizabeth took a deep breath and Sam actually quieted, looking between the two anxiously.

"What happened?" Elizabeth asked at last, looking over Jason for signs of injury.

"Sam shot me," he said, glaring at the con again.

"I di—"

"You _shot_ him? Why would you do that?!" Elizabeth exclaimed, rising up in her bed a tad.

"I didn't—"

"Mean to? _Sure_. You waited until _after_ I'd started moving to shoot the freaking gun," Jason retorted, narrowing his eyes. "I tell you to shoot him and all you can do is bitch about how you weren't sure you could make the shot and then I go to take care of it myself and you 'accidentally' shoot me?"

"Wait, what exactly happened?" Elizabeth cut in before Sam could reply.

"Some guy was mugging us or something and Sam had her gun out, but she wouldn't shoot," Jason explained, rolling his eyes again. "I told her to shoot him, but she's all, 'I don't know if I can make the shot.' So then I went to take him down and she shot _me_."

"It's not like I did it on purpose!" Sam screeched.

"Well, it would've helped if you had kept your eyes open," Jason growled, irritated. "Who shoots with their eyes closed?"

"You shot Jason with your eyes closed?" Elizabeth interjected, eyebrow raised. "Come on, Sam, we all _know_ you're not afraid to shoot people. You going soft on us?"

"I'm _not_! I just didn't want to shoot him on accident," Sam shot back, folding her arms.

"Well, it looks like you did anyway," Elizabeth said frankly. "Seriously, he _told_ you to shoot the guy? That means you shoot him—_immediately_. _Not _a minute later—or even thirty _seconds_ later—_immediately_," she repeated. "You kind of have to listen to Jason's signals in that kind of situation or else everything goes all…kablooey."

Sam huffed, pouting.

"Like when Manny was holding me hostage—did I just flail around like a crybaby and wait for Jason to save me?" Elizabeth asked pointedly. "No. I actually did something to _help_ him. So, you see, you can't just wait until Jason does something himself to take action. And if you _do_ wait, at least let him finish. Don't just go all trigger-happy."

"I was not going trigger-happy," Sam said defensively. "I was just trying to shoot the guy like Jason said. I thought he was getting out of the way."

Jason looked between the two women, an amused sparkle in his eye.

Elizabeth scoffed. "Jason is not a 'get out of the way' type of guy. He's a 'let's do something about this' guy. Don't you know anything?"

"I know plenty about Jason!" Sam shrieked, offended.

"Oh, really? Then, tell me, what does he think about celebrating birthdays?" Elizabeth asked.

Sam stood there, flapping her jaw again, but nothing came out. Elizabeth sat back, a satisfied smirk settling on her lips. Jason pinched his lips tightly, trying not to smile. Sam exhaled, still thinking, apparently.

"I rest my case," Elizabeth said.

"Well, you don't know wh—" Sam began snottily.

"Okay, Sam, it's time to sleep, and you may as well give up, because Elizabeth knows me better than you and…pretty much everyone," Jason said, sighing. "So…please leave."

Sam gave a strangled noise of frustration and stormed out. Jason glanced over at Elizabeth and she smiled at him.

"Well, that was fun," she commented, smirking.

"Yeah," he agreed, nodding.

"You know what would be more fun?" she asked at length, glancing at him slyly.

"What?"

"Sex on a hospital bed," Elizabeth replied unabashedly.

Jason grinned and they started breaking in their beds for a long stay.


End file.
